


Because of Me

by Trainwreck_WIP



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: The Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy) Need a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26810095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trainwreck_WIP/pseuds/Trainwreck_WIP
Summary: The Handler is a liar and Five second-guesses himself (okay that’s a HUGE understatement)(I'm terrible at summaries)
Kudos: 45





	Because of Me

**Author's Note:**

> I had italicized words but I don't think they saved, so some of the emphasis might not come through as you read this (I literally joined this platform like two days ago, I'm still learning guys!)
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

Gunshots.

That's the first thing Five heard when he landed in the alleyway. He pushed himself shakily to his feet, brushing off dirt and dust from his clothes. Looking around, he quietly cursed. He had no idea where he was. Or when. He spun in a slow circle.

The air was thick with smoke and the smell of gunpowder. Five limped towards the entrance of the alley, where most of the sounds of fighting were coming from. An explosion shook the ground suddenly. Five stumbled a few feet before regaining his balance. He leaned against the wall near the street, taking in the wreckage in front of him.

It was a war. Uniformed soldiers were stationed behind fallen buildings and abandoned cars, with many laying unmoving- probably dead- in the street. Gunsmoke, dust, and fire made it difficult to breathe. Five spotted a charred newspaper on the sidewalk nearby. He ran to it, staying close to the ground to avoid the guns. His eyes widened as he read the date.

'1963?' he thought to himself. 'What did I do?' He looked once more at the carnage around him, bewildered.

"Quite a situation you've gotten yourself into," a woman's voice said from behind him. Five spun around to face the Handler. Instinctively, he reached for the gun he kept underneath his coat, cursing when he found it was missing. His hand dropped to his side. He cleared his face of emotion and tried to seem indifferent to the situation he was being faced with.

"You're alive." The Handler smiled, gingerly touching the scar from her bullet wound on her forehead.

"Quite. And I would prefer to stay that way if you don't mind." He gestured to the alley, where they would be relatively safe. Five hesitated for a moment before following her. 

"What is going on here? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think there was a nuclear war in 1963." Five began to pace back and forth, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration. The Handler watched him with a look of mild amusement on her face.

"Well dear, I believe you caused this." Five laughed humorlessly.

"Of course I did. And my family? Where are they?" When he got no response he stopped pacing, turning to face the Handler. She looked at him with a look of false pity. Five took a threatening step forward.

"Where. Are. They?" The two time travelers stared at each other. Finally, the Handler shook her head, tsking in disappointment. 

"As you know well by now, your powers are... unreliable, to say the least. I'm afraid your siblings simply did not survive the jump."

Five forgot how to breathe. He shook his head violently, taking small steps back in shock.

"No. No, they're not dead. They can't be." 

The Handler reached out, cupping a hand around the boy's face in a slightly disturbing, motherly way. Five's eyes were glazed over, his face pale with guilt.

"I know this... can't be easy for you. I mean, I thought you were done with killing after leaving the Commission." 

"I-I killed them." Five murmured, his voice a mere whisper. He sounded like a scared child, a broken shell of the person he was. The Handler hummed an agreement, a soft smile flitting across her face. She stepped back, wrapping her fingers around the handle of the briefcase on the ground by her feet. 

"If you're looking to start a new life, just know your job offer at the Commission still stands. Take care, Number Five." And with a smile, she disappeared in a swirl of blue light.

A high pitched whistling broke Five from his daze a few moments later. He looked up at the sky, where firey orange streaks were leaving trails of gold across the sky. Realizing what was about to happen, his eyes widened. The air around him began to warp and glow blue. 

Before he could do anything, an explosion threw him off the ground. He screamed as he felt something pierce his shoulder. Without a destination or time in mind, he used the last of his strength to disappear. 

~~~

He doesn't know how long he was there before he realized that he wasn't falling anymore.

Five couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't see anything other than darkness, couldn't hear anything except a loud, high-pitched ringing that echoed through his mind.

He couldn't feel anything.

'I killed them,' he thought. 'They're dead, and it's all my fault.' 

He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream.

But years and years of being alone, being forced to ignore his own needs and feelings just to get home, wouldn't allow that. Memories began to resurface, pictures of murders and deaths he's caused. Peopled he'd killed under the lie that he- and the many others like him- were simply correcting the timeline. Truthfully, they were. But that doesn't change the fact that... those people were innocent. 

And now they're dead. 

And Five remembers.

Every. Single. One.

'Please, sir, don't kill me! I'll do anything! Please, someone, help me! I don't want to die!'

Shut up shut up shut UP SHUT UP-

"Five?"

Five's eyes snapped open. Once again, he had no idea where or when he was. His vision was blurry, his ears still ringing. He could tell that he was on his knees, on a carpeted floor, and that someone was in front of him, reaching out for him. Without thinking, his hand shot out, gripping the person's wrist, twisting it away from him. It was then that his vision snapped into focus. The person in front of him was-

"Allison?" His voice was weak, and he was trembling. His sister frowned.

"Where have you- You're bleeding!" She reached out and touched the side of his head, next to his ear. Her fingers came back bloody red. 

'That explains the ringing,' a small part of Five thought. The explosion must have ruptured his eardrum, or maybe it was the last jump. Didn't matter now. Allison moved her hand towards him again, concern in her eyes. Five jumped forward, wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. Her eyes widened, surprised. She hugged him back gently.

"Are you alright, Five?" 

Five shook his head. His breath came in stuttering bursts, about to cry.

"I-I thought you were dead. I thought..." Allison stared down at her brother, who still hadn't let go of their hug. She gently pried him off, then wrapped one arm around his shoulder and led him to a nearby couch. Sitting, she took his hands in her own and tried to look into his eyes. He looked away.

"You thought what, Five?" she prompted gently. Five looked at her, a strange, misty, look in his eyes.

"I thought I'd killed you." Allison let out a quiet gasp. She pulled her brother in for another hug. He didn't resist.

"I'm here, Five. I'm alive. We're both safe." Five pulled back. He glanced at her, then stood abruptly. 

"No. We're not." Allison's heart dropped. She stood up, too.

"What do you mean?" Five looked up at her, and she was finally able to name the look in his eyes. He looked haunted, lost. Absolutely exhausted. 

"It followed us."


End file.
